The New Year rings in with boisterous fanfare and dizzying possibility. Resolutions, smiles, goals, and promises rule the day. And yet there are many of us for whom this is not a time of determined, positive, goal-oriented, measurable, forward movement.
(I do so love to shine the light on the polarities of life that work us over!)
Vast hope, unlimited potential, and resolve stir within in many of us at beginning of this New Year. This is fantastic and can be so very useful.
And for some of us the lack of hope (and all the joy she brings) troubles us as we see everybody else dashing forward with all good intentions and expectations.
For some of us our current situations don’t seem to be offering up fantastic new options right now. We still have our sick loved ones or our stark financial situations, our special needs children or our rocky marriages, our chronic illness or our shaky mental health, or a myriad of challenges that keep us in a holding pattern that doesn’t sing with positive possibility in this moment. We are already using all the life force we have to handle this moment, this season, of our lives. Toasts and fireworks and clean, blank slates don’t feel within our reach.
We are still in the dark, in the cave, in a winter we can’t seem to get out of YET, so we have to hold back from our wild imaginings, our grand plans, and our big dreams. These seeds can’t sprout yet.
In this season of both darkness and hope, some of us face our bad choices or lack of choices or the effort we know it will take for new choices. This courageous looking can tip us over into a bit more despair, remorse, and hopelessness. What if I never do lose that weight or write that book or build that dream home or retire while I’m still alive?
For some of us this stark polarity is a thoroughly inner one. We can feel we are “of two minds,” where parts of us do feel hopeful, ready, and driven by the urgent NEED to make some changes at last. At the very same time, we have other loud inner team voices holding us back, reminding us that the timing is not right yet, or convincing us that we’ve never succeed before so why even bother trying now.
All the people I know (and I do get around) who are not in the full-tilt, big hairy goal setting mode, are already doing so very, very much! They often get forgetful of this, especially when they start to compare themselves in some inner-critic-driven way to “everybody else.”
To all of us wrestling with despair in this time of such promise, here’s what I know to be true:
- You are not broken or lazy or unimaginative.
- There are perfectly good reasons for your thoughts and feelings.
- Your timing is just different.
- Hard as it may be to believe in your current challenge, this, too, shall pass.
- You are not alone. Ever.
- You have plenty of supporting allies, even if you can’t feel them or know them right now. Maybe it’s time to reach out – in different ways, to different folk, for different help.
- You can trust yourself and your inner knowing. So take what time and space you need to reconnect with yourself – your True Self – that unique spark of the Divine that you are.
- Be really, really sweet to yourself now, and don’t let the raucous joy and unrestrained hope and zealous calls for discipline keep you from yourself.
- Breathe. Rest. Cry or scream or dance or make whimsical art if you need to.
- Hold on to your sweet self and your daring dreams because the time will be ripe for them at your season.
- There are ways to shift and stretch and move, even if very small, when you’re ready.
So, if you’re rocking it with new energy, brilliant plans, and steadfast commitment in this New Year, that’s fantastic! You go, girl. You can and will do it!
And if, right now, you’re in a different season, that’s brilliant, too! You can and will do it, when the timing is ripe for you. Quit comparing and keep returning to what’s true for you, including appreciating all that you are up to already.